


Not A Good Way To Die: Clothing Malfunctions

by JotunPrincess



Series: At Our Age Shame Doesn't Exist [18]
Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Copley is so done, Crack, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Team as Family, i was left unsupervised
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:34:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27523132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JotunPrincess/pseuds/JotunPrincess
Summary: Nile is curious about what dumb deaths have been caused because of a wardrobe malfunction.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: At Our Age Shame Doesn't Exist [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1910716
Comments: 6
Kudos: 129





	Not A Good Way To Die: Clothing Malfunctions

**Author's Note:**

> A big Thank you to @Mgeek who left the idea in my comments.

“Have you ever died because of a clothing malfunction?”

“When I died the first time I wore heels. Luckily no one was around but I did go down a flight of stairs and break my neck,” Quynh confessed.

“You fell down a flight of stairs in heels. You were always the most sure-footed of us,” Joe gestures in her direction.

Nicky chuckled, “My love, you are hardly one to talk about shoes considering you once tripped over you own laces and managed to land on a landmine,”

“Still stay it’s better than getting caught by my suspenders and getting hot by the runaway train,”

“Hey, I don’t hold that one against me considering I was latched onto that bar by someone else,” Booker protested. 

“Sure you were,” Nicky laughed. 

“So says the man that I watched trip over his own robes and fall into a booby trap,” Andy reminded him, “Yeah, I don’t remember everything, but I fucking remember that shit,”

Nile arched a brow in her direction, I know you’ve died a dumb death from this shit. Give it up how did it happen,”

All eyes were on her and the woman finally had to confess, “A corset,”

“Now I know you’re lying, you in a corset?”

“It was for a mission, Andy had to dress the part including at the time very tightly worn corsets. When it came time to catch out man and run after him we all took off only the corset couldn’t handle the movement,” Joe had sat up to tell the story, “One of the bones in it popped out with such a force it stabbed Andy in the lung, the three of us look back trying to find Andy and she’s in a puddle on the docks,”

A couch pillow sailed across the room to hit Joe in the face. 

Quynh shook her head fondly as she settled into Andy’s lap.

“I thought you were better than to do something so silly. Besides, I still think the time your mantle got caught on that chariot was the worst clothing-related death by far. So prolonged,”

Andy shut her wife up with a kiss. 

"Hey Nicky, what about the time your uniform got caught on the barbed wire you were so sure you could get through in your uniform?"

"I don't count that one, many had gotten caught there and I was blind from the gas,"

Copley, who had been with them tonight, had sat in the corner quietly watching them all interact and share their stories. Collectively they had over 10 thousand years of experience in the ways of the world, and they still managed to die dumb deaths.


End file.
